I'm Back & Eat Pray Love

Well I'm back from three days of business-imposed exile in Iowa. I didn't bring my netbook with me this trip, as I couldn't jam anything else into my backpack (notes, planner, ThinkPad, mouse, power cord, etc.), so I was reliant on the hotel's in-room Internet connection. That was a mistake. I was able to hop into the hotel's business center machine in the odd few moments when some 12 year old wasn't watching YouTube videos. That was good for a quick check for emergencies, but not much else.

Anyway, I'm back.

While gone I saw numerous previews for the new Julia Roberts movie "Eat Pray Love". I'm thinking that about 6 straight guys, in total across the entire universe, will see this flick. As for me, here is a list of the things I'd rather do than go see "Eat Pray Love":

1. Have knitting needles perforate both eardrums simultaneously.
2. Have my toe nails removed by a drunken Russian doctor without anesthetic.
   
3. Eat sauerkraut.
4. Watch the John Travolta movie "Staying Alive" 12 times in a row.
5. Be an in-studio guest during the Don Imus show (and watch him actually decay right in front of my very own eyes).
   
6. Attend a Tom Hanks/Meg Ryan film festival (wait, that would be about the same as watching "Eat Pray Love").
7. Be responsible for emptying the trash...at Courtney Love's house.
8. Be Rush Limbaugh's drug mule.
9. Be the only white guy in attendance at a Wu Tang Clan reunion concert.
10. Go mullet spotting at a local WalMart.

Note that I was going to say "play a game of spot the Spic" with Lou Barletta, but I didn't want to offend anyone of Hispanic heritage out there. Ops, too late.