Ten Facebook Foibles

For some reason I have been thinking about Facebook.

1. Family Feud - Seriously, there are some parts of life that don't require blow-by-blow updates on Facebook. Please do share your life events, but I'm thinking we don't need to know all about your most intense personal drama.  Rule of thumb:  if you wouldn't want it plastered on a billboard in I81, then you shouldn't want it on Facebook. Unless of course this is all a part of some master plan you have devised for world (or at least personal) domination.  Then it's okay, as long as you keep it interesting.
2. It's Spelled H-Y-P-O-C-R-I-S-Y -  Speaking of drama, I am amazed that some folks get so upset when others comment on their postings...you know, the postings they posted themselves.  Newsflash:  if you don't want feedback, then don't post it.
3. Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam - I don't mind the occasional posting about selling something, but if you are going to use my wall as part of your business strategy, you had first better make sure that I either:  a) personally own & love your products (in my case that would be, for example, Klipsch audio or T-Town Bakery) OR  b) are paying me a handsome fee for advertising services.  Otherwise I will block your postings and drop you faster than an unexpurgated copy of National Geographic at the Duggar household.
4. Help! Wait, Don't Help! Help! Wait, Don't Help - If you ask for help from others on Facebook, then by all means don't be shocked when others offer it.  When they do offer it, have the decency to be thankful for the assistance, even if what is offered is as effective as Turtleman's toothbrush.
5. I Don't Want To Play [insert Facebook game name here] With You - I just don't.  Sorry.  No offense.
6. Feedback - Please do provide me with feedback if something I've written has bothered you.  Note the word "me".  Note the absence of the phrase "veiled references to something I may have said, disguised as a general comment to everyone".
7. Petitions - I am immune to the guilt* associated with most petition drives, even for the best of causes, so please don't ask me to participate.  
8. Obscure = Better - I think most folks appreciate the weird, strange and odd on Facebook.  I do.
9. If It Requires My Personal Stuff To Run, Then I Don't Want It - If in exchange for getting news from Yahoo, socialcam, hipstercam, catcam, or whatever else is out there I need to trade my personal information, well then I guess I'll be left out of the party.
10. Calculus Was Easier To Figure Out Than Timeline - I can't stand the Facebook timeline.  I am determined to be the last person with the old profile.  I simply don't want to invest the time into trying to figure out how to read the damn thing.  Oh, and I love the little widget I have for Google Chrome that converts FB Timeline into English.

(*)Yes, even though I was raised Catholic.